Choosing to Trust

To be honest, I don’t have this completely figured out, but here’s where I am today.

Last week Brian had to work out of town for a few days. For someone who has lived alone most of her life, this should have been no big deal. But it was a big deal. It was a very big deal. I don’t know why but I was afraid. I was scared something might happen. I was scared of the silence. And then I think I was just scared that I would be scared.

I tried not to think about it and stay busy – which led to painting my dining room table, so there’s that. I tried to be logical and think of all the security we had. Thankfully, my friend, Allison, could see my concern and asked if I wanted her to stay over. WHAT?? A slumber party? YES! Who does that?? Good friends, that’s who! We talked, we ate, we watched a sweet movie about a dog (nothing too scary). I felt so much relief!

So, night #1 went really well, but now I was staring down night #2. Again, I avoided thinking about it, stayed busy and took stock of what I had to protect me. None of it helped lessen my fear. I had been talking with the Lord throughout the day but finally I had to lay it all out before Him. That’s when I realized that I couldn’t put my trust in myself or my stuff. I had to put my trust in Him. I was reminded of this verse,

Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.

Psalm 20:7

I might have alarm systems or guard dogs (Sophie thinks she’s a guard dog) but my trust cannot be in those things. My fear may or may not be rational but that’s not what matters. What matters is that my confidence is in the Lord.

Trusting in Him was a decision. I came to the place where I understood that God loved me, that if anything happened it would not take Him by surprise, and that He would be with me no matter what. And then I had to choose to trust Him, choose to put my confidence in Him. Once I made that decision, it changed everything.

There are lots of things that can produce fear, worry, or panic in us. Will I be safe tonight? Will I be always be alone? Will I have enough to cover my bills? Will I be enough for this job?

Young Woman,

I have thought and fought through each of these and many more. Here’s the deal – we have to know our God and we have to choose to put our trust in Him. We have to know that He is Good and that He loves us. Then we have to trust Him. Here’s a bonus – He gives us peace once we fully trust in Him. He is worthy of our trust in these situations and with our futures. Fear is normal but it doesn’t have to own us.

Last week, I learned two things. 1) Good friends are invaluable. 2) We can take logical steps to address our fears but, in the end, we have to choose to trust our Heavenly Father.

Side note, shortly after my come-to-Jesus meeting, I got a text from Allison. She and her youngest daughter had just prayed for me. GASP! I had to tell her that I felt it. How sweet that, just as they were praying, God was bringing me to the point of trusting Him alone.