It happens. You and a cute guy have been flirting and he asks you out. YIPPEE!! Doesn’t it make the holidays even more festive? Have fun! Here are a few things to remember:
BE YOU! Take care to be yourself, which is WONDERFUL! It doesn’t do you any good if you try to be the woman who you think he wants you to be or what you think he’s looking for. Treat him as you would anyone else. You seek to bless others so relax, have fun and be a blessing to him. Dates 1, 2 and 3 are casual so be a friend. This brings us to my second point.
Be a friend. If you’re interested in this guy, then keep it casual. Remain calm, cool and collected. Do beware about being too casual and slipping into the buddy zone. We don’t date our buddies. We need to be careful that we keep our ideas, intentions and expectations straight. If it helps, define dating and hanging out differently. Date a guy you’re interested in and hang out with your buddies.
Live in the moment. For the sake of your own heart, live in the moment, today, right now and not a year down the road. If your thoughts start going to things like, “I wonder what our kids will look like,” or “what color should the tuxes should be?” then slow down. Get through dates 1, 2 and 3. And that brings us to my next point.
Three dates. If you’re not sure about him after three dates, then you’re sure. That’s three chances to see if you have shared interests, chemistry, and any other “musts” you have on your list (which is hopefully short and gracious). If you don’t see it after three dates or if you don’t think you’re his type, don’t prolong it. Move on. He’s not the one or he’s not the one right now. I’ll share some thoughts on what to do after those three dates another time.
Gather your girls. Whether you met him at church, at the coffee shop you stop by every day or online, get your girlfriends to join you on this journey. These need to be girls who will:
- Know where you’re going and where you are at all times. Sorry, you just have to be careful. You’re the only one of you we have.
- Ask you hard and even personal questions about your heart and intimacy.
- Be trustworthy with your honesty and openness.
Young woman,
I have always told the young women in my life to make sure the guy you’re dating speaks to you and even treats you the way Jesus would…and He loves you, values you and gives you grace!
Have fun!
The truth is, I want to hear all about!!
I think we should talk more about online dating. What do you think?