I heard it clearly. “You’re such a nerd.” It was such a flat statement. It was dark and evil and it was meant to hurt me. And for a moment it did.
The statement resonated with all of the insecurities that swirled around in my mind and heart at any given time. Our enemy knows how and where and even when to hit. I was getting ready for our weekly evening ministry with students and in that moment, I got the message loud and clear: I was not qualified to minister to students.
The message could have attached to something within me and discouraged my soul. It could’ve kept me down that evening, that week, or quite honestly, for years. But just before my heart began to sink, I heard another Voice. It said, “I AM a nerd!” This time those words brought joy.
That second Voice reminded me that my willingness to risk my reputation and be silly was the very thing that made me the perfect person for the job. God had wired me to be lighthearted, even zany. It is part of His work of beauty in me. My vulnerability and lack of pretense allows people to let their guard down. Then I have the privilege to hear their stories, encourage them and cheer them on.
I think it’s in his book, Connecting, that Larry Crabb tells the story of meeting up with his friend and mentor after not seeing each other for several months. When he arrived at the location, his friend had taken a walk on the beach. They finally spot each other and his mentor starts running toward him, jumping up and down, delighted to see him. He was willing to risk looking like a fool in order to demonstrate his delight in seeing his friend.
It reminds me of a father who sees his prodigal son a long way off and, without a care of what others might think of him, he takes of running.
Those words that were meant to sting and to wound me were the very words that brought great joy to my heart!
And the Holy Spirit will lead you into all truth. John 16:13
Young Woman,
I cling on to that verse so often. In Truth He guides me where to go. He reveals the depths of His Word. And he uncovers the lies I believe about myself and replaces them with Truth.
Does the enemy whisper terrible things to you to keep you from doing what you were called to do? Do your own words play over and over and keep you discouraged? You can ask the Holy Spirit to whisper the Truth even louder. That is His job.
What lies do you believe about yourself? What does the enemy reinforce with his whispers? Where could you use God’s Truth to shine a light on dark areas in you? Pray with me now that the Holy Spirit will lead you into all Truth.